3 Silicon Valley Myths That Should Scare You

Photo by Altınay Dinç on Unsplash

Why certain startup leadership practices persist, and why it’s time to let them go

Silicon Valley has been a hotbed of leadership myths since its earliest days. The dot-com boom brought about the rise of the biggest companies of the modern era, and because of their success, the leadership practices of those companies’ founders—no matter how problematic they were—became canonical in American culture. Startup founders became the leaders to follow, and their leadership practices became the practices to emulate. Eventually, those practices and beliefs morphed into a composite myth that goes something like this: A successful startup founder is an untouchable unicorn who has the best ideas and is uniquely responsible for their company’s success; the team just needs to execute their vision.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Yet, no matter how many experts have debunked the all-powerful-founder myth, there are still several harmful ideas from Silicon Valley that some leaders don’t want to let go of. 

Here are 3 scary myths we think leaders should leave in the grave this Halloween:

Myth #1: Asking for help makes you look weak.

The idea persists that great founders have unerring conviction and always know the answer. And if they don’t, they shouldn’t show it—god forbid they’d have to ask for help from a coach or a team member. The notion goes hand in hand with another maxim leaders love to parrot to their teams: “Don’t bring me problems, only solutions.” In other words, Figure it out for yourself. I’m not going to ask for help, and neither should you.

The problem is, everyone needs help—founders, team members…everyone. To pretend that you don’t isn’t just fooling yourself, it’s also harming your team’s growth and costing your company. If you make people afraid to tell you they smell smoke, you’ll always be putting out fires. So, when founders don’t exhibit asking for help, and/or actively tell their people not to ask for it, everyone ends up sitting on problems. And the longer those problems sit, the bigger they grow. 

Several studies and articles have come out in the past few years showing how many men die earlier than women from health issues that could have been prevented or treated had they simply visited their doctor more regularly. A penny of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right? This is true for our physical health, and it’s true for organizational health too.

Founders, you want your people to know it’s OK to ask for help when they don’t have the resources, capability, or information to figure something out on their own. That means they need to see you asking for help too. 

Myth #2: Agreement is good.

…and fast agreement is better than slow agreement. 

This myth comes up time and time again in our coaching because people assume that disagreement is bad. And if not bad, at least uncomfortable. So, they avoid it at all costs and keep dissonant thoughts to themselves. Fast agreement is what happens when people are avoiding conflict, and it’s a flag leaders should watch out for. The faster your team agrees on a solution, the more likely it is that contrarian viewpoints were not voiced and the best solution was not found.

Debate is good. It helps teams find what works and what doesn’t, which ideas have merit and which won’t stand. It helps people find the best solutions and prompts real innovation. Ultimately, engaging in healthy debate prevents teams from over-indexing on bad ideas out of fear of disagreement, which saves everyone time in the long run.

Agreement isn’t the goal. Disruption is. And disruption requires more honest debate, not less. To achieve that, it’s on you, leaders, to seek dissent and encourage people to voice their questions and concerns when dealing with critical problems.

Myth #3: Successful leaders are lone, unafraid geniuses who stand apart from the crowd.

There’s a direct link between Myth #1 and this one. They both perpetuate the notion that great leaders need to be perfect, unquestionable, and courageous—never showing their vulnerability even when things are uncertain or challenging. The concern is that if leaders show vulnerability or fear, or if they appear any less brilliant than others around them, it will rattle the confidence of their teams and cause them to panic.

But there’s a big gap between showing vulnerability and inciting panic—just as there’s a big gap between real courage and the mere portrayal of courage despite being genuinely fearful. Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s overcoming fear and acting anyway. And brilliance doesn’t come from the absence of others but rather in concert with them. Leaders that don’t show their underbelly and perpetuate stereotypes of genius limit their ability to connect in meaningful ways with their teams and lead them with trust and collective engagement. Teams can handle the truth. They can stomach uncertainty, and leaders should trust them with it.  When leaders honestly acknowledge their fears and shortcomings, people lean in. 

Lead with heart, not mythology

Let’s remember: Elon Musk’s success has likely come in spite of his “demon mode” leadership style, not because of it. And Steve Jobs achieved the most at Apple not in his autocratic early days, but after first being fired and then learning how to run high-performing creative teams from Ed Catmull at Pixar. The lore around early Silicon Valley leaders is just that: lore. Not fact. 

The most successful leaders today don’t anoint themselves with a special crown; they level with their teams, acknowledge their teams’ expertise and welcome their ideas, and give them the support they need. Essentially, they lead with heart. You should too.